An Imagined Scene

Andrew Stephens, Wednesday the 13th of March, 2013

This post was automatically imported from my old sandfly.net.nz blog. It may look a little weird since it was not originally written for this format.

SCENE: A corner office overlooking the harbour. Brand Manager sits on a large chair behind a huge desk populated with executive desktop toys. Three Flunkies sit nervously on shorter chairs.

BRAND MANAGER: RIGHT, we need a FRESH new angle for our new juice product. Any IDEAS?

FLUNKY 1: What about a big orange cartoon mascot, he could be dancing aroun...

BRAND MANAGER: I said FRESH, not TRITE! Get me a COFFEE. NEXT!

FLUNKY 2: A group of attractive people

BRAND MANAGER: go on...

FLUNKY 2: ummm, enjoying the product

BRAND MANAGER: MORE!

FLUNKY 2: ... on a beach?

BRAND MANAGER: WRONG! It doesn't SPEAK to ME, and from now on NEITHER DO YOU!

FLUNKY 3: Get this: we get an attractive model and paste in our product in an awkward pose unlike any human would hold things in. Maybe put some half-ass stock-photo clouds in the background.

BRAND MANAGER: Same as all our OTHER campaigns. I need SOMETHING SPECIAL!

FLUNKY 3: OK, we photoshop her face so it looks like she has just taken a swig of the product and is now struggling to hold back projectile vomit!

BRAND MANAGER: I LIKE IT! You two, LEARN from this GUY. Lets get this out there on EVERY second BUS STOP in the city.

An Ad for Pulp Orange Juice in a bus stop
An Ad for Pulp Orange Juice in a bus stop