Film : Star Wars IX : The Rise of Skywalker

, in Films, Science Fiction

THE DEAD SPEAK! The galaxy has heard a mysterious broadcast, a threat of revenge in the sinister voice of the late EMPEROR PALPATINE.

General Leia Organa dispatches secret agents to gather intelligence, while REY, the last hope of the Jedi, trains for battle against the diabolical FIRST ORDER.

Meanwhile, Supreme Leader KYLO REN rages in search of the phantom Emperor, determined to destroy any threat to his power...

The Rise of Skywalker PosterAfter 8 or 10 (depending on how you count them) films and hundreds of hours of TV, finally we have reached the end of the whole Star Wars saga. Hooray, I guess. This review is going to contain spoilers but I figure anyone with any interest will have already seen this film.

Suffice to say that The Rise of Skywalker is a disappointing and confusing mess of a film. How could it be so bad?

After the weirdness that was The Last Jedi, The Rise of Skywalker seems like a misguided attempt to play it safe. The main plot-line of Rey and Kylo Ren is continued and concluded more or less satisfactory but a bunch of little stories from the previous film are dropped. In particular, the relationship between Rose and Finn is just straight up ignored. Rose is hardly in the film at all and Finn is more of a all-out hero here, both very uninteresting choices.

Another difference from the last film - lightsabers. The Last Jedi was very sparing with the magic swords but anyone thinking of playing a lightsabers based drinking game during Rise of Skywalker will likely be dead halfway through. From the very first shot to the extra double secret surprise lightsaber introduced near the end, Rise of Skywalker could have been called Lightsaber : The Movie.

There are so many little petty and needless reversals from The Last Jedi that I suspect that JJ Abrams must actively hate Rian Johnson. Kylo destroys his mask in TLJ in an important character moment, one of the first things he does here is glue it back together. Luke throws away his lightsaber in the last film but literally tells Rey she was an idiot as he hands her saber back to her. Rey's parentage is established completely undercutting the theme (and best part) of the previous film. So many plot points seem to be inserted just for spite.

I was wondering how they were going to cope with Carrie Fischer's death. I thought that maybe they were going to try the creepy CGI from previous attempts at reanimating dead actors, instead they obviously took a couple of minutes of deleted footage from the previous films and spliced it into scenes. The effect is perfectly seamless visually but it is clear that they only had a few random phrases to work with. So Leia just says things like "Never underestimate a droid" and the other characters emote around her. It's a bit sad but they masked the effect by making all the other dialog in the film confusing and unmemorable so these scenes do not stand out. Clever.

Also sad is Chewbacca. Peter Mayhew is also dead and Chewbacca is played by someone else. You would think that wouldn't be noticeable but Chewbacca just doesn't have that ridiculously lovable loping stride that he used to. I guess you can explain it by saying age is finally catching up with Chewie.

Other random things that bugged me:

Enough moaning, here are some things I liked:

I am a sucker for droids
I am a sucker for droids

Those paying attention will note that the annoying things outnumber the points I liked. The Rise of Skywalker is a disappointing ending to the Star Wars saga. Or it would be but we both know this isn't the final stop for this gravy train.